Adventures in Aspergers:  An Unusual Mind, An Exceptional Heart

Autism awareness month is always special for us. I use my business to donate a portion of my proceeds to budding research in the field.  I speak in as many classrooms as teachers in my son's school area able to make time for.  My son serves as an educational platform for so many children to understand autism has no face, no look, no guaranteed identification.  One thing I've noticed, is as you get to know these individuals, the way they view the world leaves them with a childlike innocence well into adulthood. They view the world much more black and white than so many of us do!  They aren't impacted by greed, image, ego, etc. 

We recently found out about a mother who has a son around Jacob's age.  She hadn't gotten as lucky as we had and was struggling to fund the training of her service dog.  She'd had many people offer assistance, even form Go Fund Me accounts and then run off with the money.  So I decided to make this April, Autism Awareness month, a personal journey for both myself and my kids.  We'd always made sure to donate and do what we could for great causes.  But never singled out a family, gotten to know them, and brought my children in on this level.  

When my son heard the boy's story, and saw his pictures, he became overwhelmed. He knows what it's like to need help.  He knows what it's like to feel overwhelmed and alone.  Lauren was with us as well.  She knew what it was like to watch Jacob hurt himself.  Sometimes he still does.  And it scares her, plus she feels the need to protect him.  Learning about this little boy I saw their faces shadow.  And then Jacob spoke up.  "Give him all my money, mama."  Lauren echoed, "mine too, mama."  

The kids had been saving for a long time to purchase themselves desk top computers. They wanted to be able to do homework, play on Think Central, and Jacob wanted desperately to have Minecraft where he could buy expansive mods and change the whole world, recreating the game essentially with a single, inexpensive download.  

They had worked hard for the money they had earned.  They'd cared for pets: cleaned up after them, fed them, watered them, walked the dogs....They had to keep up their grades and exceed their reading goals.. They had to keep their rooms clean and do extra chores around the house:  emptying the dishwasher, loads of laundry, etc.  And they'd each earned about $500. Which thanks to the BX's tax free purchase options, was enough for each of them to get an All In One desktop.  They knew they could pick up their computers the next weekend.  

In an instant, they decided someone else's need was greater.  There was no second thought. No time to weigh options.  Even when I said, "mama is helping them raise money, that's your money."  Jacob's response was, "I can earn more.  He needs a dog to help him more than I need a computer. He can have it all,"  He was so resolute.  No mourning over losing something he wanted. No thinking about anything but another child, like him, who needed help. 

Our dog, Jack, has brought peace to his life.  Has helped him learn to settle.  Has provided him with deep tissue stimulation when he needs it.  He has given Jacob a sense of security when he desperately needed it.  And they are bonded in a way you often read about in books or see in movies.  So Jacob wants that for another boy.  And he and Lauren want to do all they can to help.  Together, they are donating $1000 of the $2500 that was needed to finish the dog training!  And I couldn't be more proud. They demonstrate the pure heart of children and the comroderie of the autism community, even among our tiniest members.

If you'd like to help, the paypal link to DIRECTLY donate to the mother Servicedogforjedison@gmail.com

This gives the funds to the family directly so no one else's hands touch them and can use them.  Excess funds will be donated to other families struggling to meet the financial burdens of paying for service dog training.

World Autism Awareness Day!

Shine the light on the whole family!

It's been a long while since I've posted on this blog!  Some may think I've forgotten it!  But life has certainly become a circus.  The kids are settling into a routine, which in my mind, means the military is going to throw a huge wrench into my life and move us so we have to spend months acclimating Jacob again.  '

He's doing well in school, reading well, and even excited to add cursive to his growing list of accomplishments.  He's taken up taekwondo, played soccer and is constantly asking what he gets to do next.  I can't wait for the day a school can put him on a track team and I can just sit in the stands yelling, "RUN JACOB RUN" in full Forest Gump mode!

Lauren is also settling into her own.  She's learned to become her own identity.  That's something I think is so important for the sibling of a child with autism!  Her life used to be defined by what he wanted. What would he eat?  So he picked restaurants and menus.  What could he handle? So fun trips were cut short.  One thing Andrew and I tried to do this year was give her the autonomy she deserved.  And shes flourishing.  She is a talented artist- taught by a local professional artist named Sharon LaPine of Limelight Studios.  She amazes me daily with her sketching in particular.  She can draw amazingly and I see that going somewhere for her.  She also is still very much the class clown.
Andrew and I often wonder if her big personality developed to try to be noticed among meltdowns and self-harm situations.

Today, on World Autism Day, I want to take the time not only to recognize the children living with autism and how wonderful, bright and kind they are.  But to recognize the toll it takes on the family.  That kind of awareness is overlooked because we love our children! I love my son to death!  I'd do anything for him!  But raising a child on the spectrum is HARD. And it doesn't make you less of a mother, father, sister, brother or grandparent to admit it.  Sometimes we need help!  The divorce rate among couples parenting an autistic child is much higher than the average divorce rate.  Research has found that parents of adolescents who are autistic have PTSD levels that match those of soldiers returning from war according to CNN.  And 30% of mothers who raise autistic children need psychiatric help and medication for depression and anxiety to cope with the day today reality of their lives!  I write this  not to create pity or to make mothers of children with ASD martyrs. But to say if you as a mother need help, you're normal and it's ok.  And if you know a mother who seems to be less social or stressed, offer a helping hand.

No two children diagnosed on the spectrum are exactly the same.  In my immediate family we have four. And all four fall in very different areas on the spectrum.  But all of them are intriguing, hilarious, intelligent, loving and special.  The world will be a different place because they were brought to it.  They are here to teach us about the power of the human mind.  To teach us different ISN'T less.  To remind us of the creativity we've lost as a society and the childlike wonder we skip over in favor of a standardized test.  They are gifts, meant to bring us together in celebration, understanding and empathy.  And that is what Autism Awareness month is all about.  Focus on the able, not on the label.

I read the quotation a while back and it has brought me joy and so I will sign off by sharing it with you today:

"It takes a village to raise a child; but it takes a child with autism to raise the consciousness of a village."

To hear more on a day to day basis about how our life's journey goes, you can follow me on Instagram!  

@thepanhandleprincess